The Christmas That Never Was
by MedaLink
Summary: Junpei and Chidori spend Christmas Eve together at the Paulownia Mall, and Chidori thinks about what the spirit of the holiday season means to her and her relationship with Junpei. One-shot Christmas story.


A calm winter air filled the atmosphere of the Paulownia Mall. Fresh green reefs hung from the hooks in front of every door, and wrapped tightly around all of the banisters and door frames. Multicoloured light bulbs lit up every corner of the mall and cast it in a red, green, and gold glow. The smell of Christmas cake and other baked goods wafted in the air, flooding from the stores whose front windows were crowded with sale signs and advertisements. It was Christmas Eve in Iwatodai and Port Island, and every street corner and social hangout was crowded with couples happy to spend the night together.

Chidori, however, was less than enthusiastic when Junpei asked her out on a date tonight. It wasn't so much that she didn't want to be with him, far from it really, but she really couldn't stand being around so many people in such an enclosed space. There was a time when she learned to drone them out and be uncaring about how she looked to other people, but things had changed since then. She had learned to let that apathy go when she met Junpei, so now that she was allowed out in public for tonight, she had become a little more self-conscious. She never liked spending time indoors with a crowd of people around her, so when she entered the mall, a wave of anxiety fell over her and she felt her body being cramped into a tight space where she couldn't breathe. Her claustrophobia subsided when Junpei lightly squeezed her hand.

"Wow!" Junpei explained as his eyes gazed out over the mall, "They've really got this place decked out tonight!" He turned towards Chidori. "If this is how it looks over here, I wonder how crazy they must be celebrating over in America. I hear they go even crazier over Christmas than Japan does."

Chidori silently nodded in agreement. She was still trying to remember how to breathe.

Junpei noticed her quiet behaviour and turned to her, concerned. "Hey, you're not too bothered here, are you? We can go somewhere else with a little more space if you want."

Chidori frantically shook her head. "N-N-No. You wanted to come here. I-I don't want you to have to leave here because of me." She never thought she would become so worked up over someone.

Junpei smiled and stroked her hair soothingly. "Well, if that's what you want. We can leave anytime you want to leave, okay?"  
Chidori nodded frantically again. She could feel her face getting redder and redder every second he held her hand in the gentlest way. It didn't help that she was doing all of this with a new wardrobe as well. Instead of her usual goth lolita attire, she was wearing a thin, long-sleeved cotton shirt with the back cut off to the end of her chest line covered with criss-cross lacing, a peasant skirt down to her ankles, and winter boots, all of which were kept warm with a light, long violet winter coat. Mitsuru Kirijo and Chidori's doctors had "insisted" on something that would make her less conspicuous in a crowded area should Strega reappear. It was Junpei's friend, Yukari Takeba, who was in charge of selecting the fashions that would make her stand out the least, along with drowning Chidori's face in make-up and choking her with perfume. She was missing her heavy dress deeply.

As soon as the crowd started to thin out, Junpei and Chidori sat themselves down on the bench in the centre of the mall. They watched everyone around them going about their business on this holiday night, awkwardly holding hands when they brought themselves closer to each other. There was a faint blush on both of their faces.

"So," Junpei said, trying to strike up a conversation, "if it makes you feel any better, this is actually pretty new to me too. I always looked forward to Christmas when I was a kid, but I always got a bit more depressed every year since I never had anyone to spend it with as I was growing up. I mean, well, since I've never actually had a girlfriend to spend the night with." He started laughing awkwardly.

"I never really thought much of it," Chidori replied. "It just seemed like another yearly gimmick used to get money from naive, hormone-driven couples during a cold and dreary season to make them feel better about themselves." She smiled at Junpei. "But now that I'm actually a part of it, it feels...different...and nice."

Junpei smiled back at her. Realizing the perfect opportunity, he bent over into the confines of his bag. "Uh, hold on; just let me grab something in here." He struggled for a while, but he pulled his arms free of his tight bag and uncovered a large package wrapped in red and gold paper. "Tada!" he cheered, handing the present to Chidori. "It's your Christmas present. I hope you like it."

Chidori's eyes widened in surprise and curiosity. She was about to refuse because she didn't like how much trouble he went to get it, but under Junpei's anxious gaze, she hesitantly started ripping the paper apart. Inside the box was a dozen bottles of paint, some paint thinner, a pallet, a wide variety of brushes, and a wad of cash.

Chidori's eyes were sparkling. "Junpei, this is..."

"Well, I know how much you love drawing," Junpei explained. "But I figured that getting you another sketchbook might feel a little redundant, so I thought maybe you would like to try painting sometime. The money inside is for a canvas and easel, but I couldn't find a way to get them to fit with the rest of the stuff."

Chidori was silent for the longest time, not knowing how to react.

Junpei was getting worried. "Y-You don't like it?"

Chidori shook her head furiously. "N-No, I love it! I just..." How was she to respond to such an act of kindness? "No one has ever gone to so much trouble for me before..."

"Chidori..." Junpei whispered.

Chidori turned away from him. "I really am an imperfect human being..." She reached into her bag and pulled out her own package wrapped in silver paper and with a blue ribbon around it. "You're always doing me such kindness...but...all I have to give you is this. I don't really think there was a lot of 'Christmas care' put into it."

Junpei took the present and patted her hand to reassure her. "Don't worry, Chidori. Anything you give me is fine with me."

As Junpei started unwrapping the paper, Chidori turned away and covered her head. "I-I just thought that a simple sketch would be too simple. On a day like this, one is bound to have certain expectations and-"

She was cut off by his piercing exclamation. Chidori slowly turned back to him to find his eyes big and glowing and his face frozen in ecstasy.

"I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!" Junpei cried aloud at a volume that nearly attracted the entire mall. He was holding aloft a package that contained a red and golden mecha action figure with an attachable golden sword and silver cannon. "IT'S REALLY HIM! THE LEGENDARY CHAMPION MECH OF THE NEO-EDEN SERIES! I SEARCHED FOR AGES FOR THIS WHEN I WAS A KID!" He took Chidori's hands and looked her straight in the eyes. "Chidori, how did you find this?"

Chidori's hands were quivering from his sudden over-excitedness. "W-Well...they were having a raffle at the hospital for the sick kids...b-but they apparently forgot to include the toy. No one wanted it, so I...thought I'd take it off their hands and...save it for something. You did say that you liked mecha anime, after all."

Chidori was taken by surprised when Junpei took her into his arms and squeezed the life out of her, causing her to have difficulty breathing. "OH, CHIDORI, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!"

"Junpei, I...I can't...breathe. Too...tight..."

When her words finally settled into his brain, he quickly let go of his hold of Chidori and set the action figure down, looking rather guilty and embarrassed. He kept a firm grip on her hands.

"I-I'm sorry, Chidori," he said, "I guess I have more childhood Christmas spirit in me than I thought I still had at my age. Still, it's a really great present and I'm happy you went o the trouble of getting something for me. I'll treasure it always."

Chidori's face was turning as red as the suit of the Santa Claus costumer eyeing the two of them along with the rest of the crowd.

Noticing the crowd, Junpei quietly lifted himself and Chidori off of the couch, laughing in embarrassment. "I guess I really overdid it then, didn't I?" He turned back to her with a wide grin. "Anyway, how about we walk around for a bit? I'll treat you to some hot cocoa."

Chidori nodded and began walking with him, one hand holding on to her paint kit; the other in Junpei's.

She followed Junpei around the mall, gazing at all of the baked goods and toys displayed in the stores. Her eyes glowed in awe at all of the decorations that hung around every inch of the place. Takaya had once told her that Christmas was just another seasonal device that emphasized humanity's greed and sense of corporate power through commercialism, but seeing it all with Junpei at her side gave her a new outlook on it. As she looked up at all of the stars of the Christmas trees, there was a sense of hope and humbleness she never noticed before. She looked around at all of the couples and saw in their eyes a genuine desire to be with each other, a desire that wasn't forced so they could fulfill some obligation to their fellow man, and not one that they would rather just ignore and look out for themselves. She looked at Junpei's glowing eyes and saw that same spirit in him too. Perhaps this was the time of year brought out a side of humanity she was not exposed to, one that made life easier and more worth living.

. . .

As they finally stepped out of the mall and into the cold night, Chidori felt a cold wind wrapping around her and looked up at the moon in uneasiness. She had heard the rumours spreading around the city, the ones that Jin was writing about online, about the one called "Nyx". She opposed its purpose outright. She was finally allowed to cling to life like a normal human being, and she did not want that to go to waste. However, she was terrified for Junpei. She knew that S.E.E.S. was going to fight against it in order to save the world, but how could one be able to fight against death itself? She knew that Junpei would never let her fight, whether she still had her Persona or not. She gave her life for his that fateful night, and he returned his own fragment of it when the flowers he healed with Trismegistus's magic and the flowers she healed with Medea's power joined together on her corpse. Neither knew the power of rebirth that those flowers had been sealed with, nor of the memories Chidori would regain thanks to Junpei's life essence mingling with her own. They were one in life essence, connected forever. That's where her hope laid. No matter what the circumstances, she would help guide Junpei back on the right path, now that Medea was his. They were brought back from death out of luck and sacrifice, so they would both use that life to protect all of humanity. They would show Nyx why they both had a reason to fight to live.

Chidori blinked and was brought back to reality when a snowflake fell between her eyes and melted into a drop that trailed down the bridge of her nose. Several snowflakes were falling gently to the ground, filling the dark night with an air of sweet winter light.

"It's snowing," Junpei said, slightly surprised, "I never thought we would be getting snow this year, but I guess it's the sign of a Christmas miracle." He lowered his head in thought. "Maybe that Christmas miracle will be able to help us fight against Nyx."

Chidori nodded. "Even the seasons are with us. Time and nature is an eternal cycle that is never broken, but the idea of permanent death seems so unusual that even Nature itself is rebelling against Nyx. Death is natural, but so is rebirth. We cannot let the cycle of life stop at the end without the beginning."

Junpei nodded. "It's the same for us. We're still the same people in life and memory, but we've change. You're much more hopeful than I've ever seen you, and I..." He grew quieter. "Well, after you died, I saw you're sketches of me, and I realized that I didn't like myself as the immature, mopey guy I was. I vowed to become the man in the sketchbook, so I could live life for the both of us."

"You didn't have to work to become that person," Chidori reassured him, "That was the man I always saw in you."

"But I have him to thank for making me a better person, for you and myself."

The two smiled sweetly, their faces brightened by the Christmas lights and the snowflakes falling around them.

As the two of them headed back to the hospital, Junpei suddenly stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. Chidori looked up to find what he was staring at. There was a patch of mistletoe hanging above their heads.

"Oooh, mistletoe," Junpei said, a cocky grin on his face. He turned to Chidori and looked her straight in the eyes. "You know what people do when they get caught under mistletoe, right?"

Chidori gasped and blushed. She had never heard much about Christmas traditions, in Japan or other countries, but she had a fragment of knowledge about what mistletoe meant at Christmas time. Her self-consciousness was coming back again. She knew in her heart that she loved Junpei, but she wasn't sure if it would be strong enough to give her the courage to kiss him. She had never kissed anyone before, and now she was fretting over how it would be? Would she miss his lips? Would they form all wrong around his? What if her breathe didn't smell right or her lips were too wet, or too dry.

She was caught in mid-thought when Junpei lifted her chin and gazed longingly at her with the sweetest look in his eyes she had ever seen.

"I'm sure it would be nice," Junpei said, "but I won't force you to do anything you don't want you to, okay? I'll only do it when you're ready to-"

Chidori pressed her finger to his lips to silence him. "I really do want to this," she reassured him, "I'm just...scared."

Junpei remained silent for a while, and then looked at Chidori again with a much more serious look on his face. "Chidori, y-you know how I feel about you. We've been through so much together, but we...we never really had the chance to make anything official, have we? So, I...I wanted to ask you, this very Christmas Eve." He gulped back his nervousness and took a very deep breath. "Will you...be my girlfriend?"

Chidori froze at his words. This decision was vital to her in more ways than she could imagine. It would be part of the biggest steps she had to take to being a part of life. It was vital to her relationship to Junpei and to the other people she would come to know in her life as she lived it. She had to work for it and there would be sacrifice. But it was nothing new to her. She had been though all of that once. She had the chance to live it again and make something out of it. She was just making a big, worthwhile step into the world of experience.

Chidori smiled and wrapped her arms around her lover. "Yes..." she whispered.

Junpei slowly took Chidori's face into his hands and brought his lips down on hers, while she crushed her lips against his and embraced him even closer. It was a little awkward and messy, but they didn't care. They would work better and evolve their relationship as they continued to go through life together. This Christmas was simply the marker of their new beginning, and Nyx wouldn't do anything to interrupt it.

"Merry Christmas, Chidori," Junpei whispered when he broke their kiss, "I love you."

Chidori returned his love with another, more firmer kiss, and the two stood there in sweet passion while the Christmas stars turned to snowflakes and danced around the two lovers.


End file.
